Ch-ch-ch-changes

Here is a portion of a letter that I sent to one of my best friend's growing up. The context is that both of our parents are going through divorces and she has lived in South Africa for several years now.
 

The other day, a classmate asked me what I wish I could change about my life if I could. Remember when we used to make wishes on curly Doritos in elementary school? Sometime in high school, I realized that if I wish for something, then I am acknowledging that I cannot change it myself and that I am resorting to wishing and not doing. So for many years I refrain from making any actual birthday wishes or wishing when I blow on dandelions. I take the moment to acknowledge the things that I have power over to change. 

Which brings me to things that I myself cannot change. I cannot change my family, but only influence and help. If I had the ability to change my family so that they are no longer broken, what exactly would I change? Would it be selfish of me to use whatever force I could to force them to be kind and loving to one another? Or would it be selfish of me not to? If I had the power to take a legless man whose dream it is to reach the peak of Mt. Everest, to plop him on the top of Mt. Everest, is there anything I am robbing him of? Is there something to be said of trial and tribulation and its relationship with triumph and success? Since I believe in the Biblical God, do I trust that He understands that relationship and therefore doesn't simply grant us the things we want because maybe there is something more important than the things we want? Do I trust Him even when He is silent?

What do you think? I am curious about what you think about trial and hard things. What assumptions that you have had changed since you moved to South Africa? My views are clearly shaped by religion, but also, experiences. What sorts of core beliefs and experiences shape how you think of hard things in life?